After a three month lull, it now seems that everyone and their brother wants me to do some work for them. It's not just my existing clients, either. I have people literally calling me up out of the blue. After the famine, I'm faced with the feast side of the problem - how can I keep all my clients (old and new) happy?
Someone recently asked me, point blank, what would it take for me to close down Argos (and work for someone full time). I'd never really looked at it that way, never phrased that question in my head. But it's an important question. Am I content to continue on with my own business, or do I want to be part of a larger team. There are several considerations here:
Security - I know, I know. Security is an illusion. Even assuming everyone is playing fair, things might not work out with an employer, or the employer could go under. If I were to turn my back on my existing clients, they would find someone to replace me - and if I went back later, it would be nearly impossible to reopen those doors. For all its risks, Argos is mine. It would take an awful lot of money or some guarantee of severance pay, or some ownership in the new company to make that part of it worthwhile. I've had clients call back after two years of complete silence, ready to start up a stalled project. But if I closed the doors, all that would be gone. Things might be different if I could bring the clients with me, say to a new design agency in exchange for some share of the business, but in this case that wouldn't work.
Stability - The main drawback to having a one man company is that when things go up and down, I go up and down with it. These last three months have been absolutely terrible for the company, and I've had to dip into savings more than I wanted to. A steady paycheck is damn attractive at times. Knowing that I get two weeks of vacation (which would be two weeks more than I took in the first eight years of running Argos), that my insurance is covered, and my tax withholding is taken care of. Just knowing that I'm going to have x amount of money at the end of every month. It's really appealing.
Fewer Hats - I know that working at a small company, you have to do multiple jobs. If I'm hired for graphics, and there's a juicy new client opportunity, everyone throws together to get new sales materials together, or helps pack widgets for a deadline, or fixes the printer, or just picks up slack when someone else is sick. But that's nothing compared to doing it all yourself. Not just the work, but the administrative stuff. Entering all the expenses and reconciling the bank statements. Filing the monthly and quarterly forms for every little thing. Doing any and all sales, coming up with marketing campaigns without someone to bounce ideas off of. I have always felt that I'm being held back by my weakest points (sales) rather than being supported by my strongest (design). With a team of people, you all get lifted by your strengths, not held down by your weaknesses.
Being Social - This might not seem that important, but working by yourself is very isolating. I tend to have good rapport with my clients (one actually used to work for me, another I have dinner with on a regular basis). But there's still this me/them wall, and it's not just in my head. When I'm working at a client's office, there inevitably comes a time when they are talking about stuff that I'm not really invited into. I'm not one of them. It's subtle, but it lingers. Even in other parts of my life, I find I don't ask for help because I know I'm alone. I even write a blog for an audience of one.
Potential Earnings - Someone once told me that no employer will ever pay you enough to retire young, because it's in their best interest to keep you hungry. I have no real interest in retiring young, but you get the point. Given the last three months of no work, and the preceding two years of less and less work, it's hard to keep in mind that being on my own has higher potential earnings than working for someone else. But the emphasis here is on 'potential'. This one I think is a wash, really. Frankly I've never really been in it for the money.
So what are you in it for? - One of the key things I like about working for myself is that each project brings new problems to solve. I'm almost never asked to do the same thing twice (or it's something small, like an illustration). Sure, there are repeatable elements, but I can guarantee that if I was working for a big company, I would have almost no web design experience, no database experience, I wouldn't know anything about JavaScript or possibly even 3D rendering. I certainly wouldn't have learned how to drive a forklift, or weld tube steel. I like being a jack of all trades. I enjoy being able to solve problems in new areas. It's hard to imagine working for someone else and getting that level of creative freedom.
As tempting as it is to throw my hands in the air and say 'give me a paycheck, take away the red tape, and constantly variable income," I find that I just can't do it. Not at this point. Certainly not just when things seem to be looking up. If they had asked in the middle of December, my answer might have been 'a steady paycheck'. But I know I would have regretted such a decision.
So my answer to the original question is simply, 'I can't think of anything.' But that just leaves me where I started. Now my task is to craft some sort of agreement with clients who can give me just a little stability, in exchange for some earning potential. It's going to be a tricky balancing act, and might need to be revisited as things come and go. But I think it's best for my long term stress levels and sanity.
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